English Girl in Vienna

Cultural Commentator

No More Quack Doctor

Christmas is over and my New Year hangover has faded, leaving only the memory of being out in the city centre at Freyung, trying to drunkenly waltz as a group of three when the clock chimed twelve and the New Year started. The locals seemed so elegant, despite being bundled up, as they waltzed and glided, unlike us bashing into each other spilling our cans of Goesser everywhere.

I’m on the train, early on a misty morning, going to see a new chiropractor on Hutteldorfer Strasse, hopeful for some pain relief. This is me taking charge of my health. At the end of last year I went to a back specialist who, after some unsuccessful treatment, suggested acupuncture and so I gave it a go. On my first visit the doctor told me that acupuncture would work wonders for me. He prescribed Chinese herbal tablets and ordered me to watch The Life of Brian. Hmm. He said my back problems were partly the result of being British and the British attitude. Hmmm. There was some talk of unexpressed emotions and The Life of Brian would help me with having a better attitude towards things I can’t control. At least I think that’s what he said; I was trying hard not to laugh. I was prescribed three months’ worth of tablets to soothe my liver, as the liver stored heat from emotional memories, and three months’ worth of tablets to help my muscles relax. The chemist, god bless her, asked me if I really wanted three months’ supply and when I asked her how much it would cost I decided I’d give them a go for just one month. The tablets went and the back pain persisted. The euros were spent and the needles pushed in and the back pain persisted. That’s when I decided I’d given it a go and it was time to spend my money instead on something I knew worked for me.


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